Saturday, 29 June 2013
Leave like a goddamned gentleman.
Four or five months ago, I decided to leave the Men's Rights Activists camp.
Not that I had been an extreme participant in the discourse, of course, but more of an observer (quelle surprise!) watching from the sidelines. But over the past month or two I had been worried about certain developments in the MRM, amongst them increased calls for leftist alignment, progressive ideology, "inclusion", and attempts at shaming those who did not agree. In short, hijacking and co-option of what I believed the MRM had been about.
This whole saga came to fruition of late, and it's been amusing to see how everything I said has come to pass.
Furthermore, I had come across arguments, particularly from No-Ma'am and Hawaiian Libertarian, that convinced me that the MRM was merely the next step of the exercise of the Hegelian Dialectic when it came to the complete dissolution and takeover of the family unit by the state. Champion the rights of women first, then champion the rights of men, and in the end the state is everywhere to act as a "mediator" with a finger in everyone's pie-hole.
Take note that this was not an easy task - while I didn't stay up nights agonising over the rights and wrongs, it nevertheless took considerable looking into the arguments, juggling them in my mind, and pitting them against observable examples to see which one was closer to empirical truth, such as Aurini's mention of the Canadian courts moving to "supervise" children in divorces, or right now, German kids being assigned handlers by the state "for their own good." If one toes the water for a long time before jumping in, coming back out should take at least as long, because a strong conviction is required on the basis of principles and morals, instead of adhering to some group or ideology because it validates your chosen lifestyle. (Ahem).
So, after I had formed my case for leaving the MRA camp, what did I do? Nothing much, and it was all limited to me. In the public forum, I took MRA sites off my blogroll and made a post on my blog about the reasons I was leaving, for anyone who was interested in what a Singaporean gook does with his life. Privately, I stopped watching MRA videos, reading MRA blogs, and writing on MRA forums.
That's all. Really. There were some who commented on my leaving post, arguing against my case; I addressed their arguments and sent them on their way. Simple as that. If you actually think out your case before making the move instead of basing it on your feeeelings, then you should be able to clearly address the people expressing consternation.
What I didn't goddamn do was immediately run to the biggest social network I had access to, scream, howl and throw a tantrum, and wish death upon all MRAs while acting like a big drama queen, wanting others to pat me on the back, say "there, there" and validate my choice.
Now, I'm not asking one to pretend to be nice to the people whom you're leaving. I'm not expecting someone to find platitudes to mouth while walking through the doorway, that it was a nice time, so sorry for our differences of opinion, and I wish you all the best in the future. I don't wish the best for the MRAs, and indeed, I'm hoping (and predict) that they're going to fail for the reasons outlined by No-Ma'am and Hawaiian Libertarian. If you want to cease to be affiliated with anyone or any group for any reason, that's your pejorative, no matter how retarded I personally think your reasons may be. Certainly, those MRAs who cared about my leaving must have thought my reasons were silly, otherwise they wouldn't have protested.
But observe some goddamned decorum and leave like a gentleman, because the gentleman is a gentleman and never has an excuse to deviate from benevolence. If that's not good enough for you, howling and screaming will make you look like the idiot.
That is all.